creepypastafandomcom-20200222-history
User talk:XxLucidNightmarexX
EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:35, December 28, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:38, December 29, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story I deleted them because they were both well below quality standards. As for there being worse, feel free to point them out to me and I'll delete them as well (although that won't make your stories any better). I'll save some time and focus on your latter story (although these were issues present in both). There are numerous capitalization ("The walls are stained and there’s always someone drunk on floor 2, but hey, It’s what I can afford", "After the eligible (???) death on 15/8/15 He (he) awoke on earth", etc.), punctuation ("The beds(') a little hard", "“WeLcoMe tO HeLl” Sprawled (scrawled) on the wall. Terence Joyce was never found again.", etc.), wording issues ("acid slowly eating away his internal organs whiles (while) unidentifiable men laughed etc.", "He awoke on earth (awkward/non-descript), and 2 masked men through him into a car and drove across for miles", ""After the eligible (???) death on 15/8/15 He awoke on earth, and 2 masked men through (threw) him into a car"", "Police report file, deciphered from Terence Joyce on 5/13/16", etc). I would chalk this up to it being a blog, but since these errors are present in the police report and your other story too, I'm going to assume this is due to a lack of proof-reading. Story issues: You randomly jump from a personal blog to a chat log with no transition in-between. Time's clearly passed as the fallout from releasing the guy's personal info are addressed, but there's no explanation for why it's included in the overall police report. Did the police find the minutia of this guy's life so important that they needed to include it? Speaking of chat logs/forum posts, it jumps frequently and doesn't properly spend time on detailing why this is essential to the story. Is the iPhone 6 information relevant to the story in any way? Why exactly is the person posting their cry for help on the forum rather than, say, calling/messaging the police? Story issues cont.: "He said how he had unimaginable torture, with his skin getting slowly peeled off and acid slowly eating away his internal organs whiles unidentifiable men laughed etc. Apparently after a few years he escaped during a torture session and ran to the overpass." This in no way feels like a police report. It doesn't go into backing up their reasoning or detailing evidence ("a rusted metal sign saying “Welcome to Hell =)” and a slogan." What is the slogan?). Story issues final: There are other issues, but this is threatening to grow longer than the story itself so I'll cut it off by saying that the plot feels very rushed, there's nothing to make the plot seem interesting like character development or description, and the story randomly transitions. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues in your writing and a lot of them are present in the story itself (i.e. they're both below quality standards). I suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop because if you think there are no issues present in your story, then you are overlooking a lot. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:11, December 29, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:51, December 29, 2016 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. MrDupin (talk) 00:29, December 30, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:46, December 31, 2016 (UTC) Just thought I'd leave a little message to be the voice saying 'keep going. Quit caring what other people think and keep going.' I can tell you're a great writer, and soon (it may not be today or tomorrow or even during 2016 at all) I'm sure you'll get something good up for everyone to enjoy. And please, if you need anything reviewed or critiqued, message me on my talk and I'll look it over. ''I'ma gonna getcha! I'ma gonna getcha good! '' 05:12, December 31, 2016 (UTC)